WebSuck

What lovely colours. And the use of <u> is great.

Did you notice the “& Appaloosa Country Band” part?

In these economic times, diversification is important.

It looks like the real web designer they were using died in a tragic weeding accident about 60% of the way through the project.

Also, this website apparently pre-dates the internet (‘since 1925′). Coincidentally, the design pre-dates human taste.

It’s always handy when a website keeps external pages inside the frame they were linked from. It helps me remember the order in which I traversed the web.

You realize that we’ve probably increased their web traffic by NaN. I sure hope they aren’t using web traffic to predict next years seed and feed requirements for Upper Tantallon.

@Chet, its like video feedback… in REALLY slow motion

Indeed, it does work.

That there is what you call a 10,000 BTU fireball of suck with a 10 year warranty.

Print This Page? I can’t even look at this page. You think it would be better if I printed it? At least then I could throw the paper in my wood fireplace.

That’s one hefty left-nav. I think my favourite feature has to be the Weather Report. I’m always just about to order an electric fireplace online, but the decision between the ADDCO Univerise 26″ Jupiter Insert or the Snowball Empire Cherry Cabinet hinges on the probability of precipitation in Toledo. Finally, someone has taken this e-commerce dilemma seriously and offered a viable Fireplaces/Weather Solutions Portal.

Check out the Canada page. They apparently ship burly products to Canada. But not hefty, big-boned or plump products.

I’ve yet to figure out the cryptic meaning of the “symbol” they use to identify products available in Canada. It must be some kind of fireplace industry insider thing.

I’m going to start coming here every time I want to send “Email to a Friend”. Why would I use my own email client when they’ve taken the trouble to make it easy for me to stay in touch with those I care about? Man! It’s actually a Fireplaces/Weather/Social Networking Portal and we didn’t even know. Mark Zuckerberg, look out.

For all seasons? WTF? Sure it’s nice to have fireplace ambiance in the summer, but that kind of heat can really damage your cahones. Now you know why the US has an energy problem. They’re running there friggin fireplaces in the summer!!!

The best part is that the main page shows some distorted images. Then you click on “Pictures” and you get the same pictures, except this time, there’s some text that says “Images are distorted”. I guess that’s so that those browsing with elinks or lynx don’t miss out.

Oh, and before I forget: Geocities? _Really_?

Apparently they’ve forgotten the “World” part of the “World Wide Web”. Maybe this was put together back in the day when they didn’t need area codes on phone numbers.

And where the heck is this located anyway? Even if I could phone them, I don’t even know if I need a plane, train, boat or automobile to get there. Come on. I need to have distorted pictures taken of me shooting at people.

You think it might be a Al Qaeda recruiting site?

Naw. They’re way more organized and probably have more style. Anyway, there’d be all kinds of VHS-quality taped messages from terroist leaders, and way more beheadings.

Did you notice how the Black Knight isn’t black?

Nowhere in any historical references did knights use CO2 powered weapons to propel balls of paint at their opponents. I’m sure that would have made for some great jousting matches, but it just didn’t happen that way. I’m just saying.

Yeah, but can you imagine trying to finish off a good seige that way? I mean, you’re about to storm the ramparts with paint catapults, but the defenders keep shouting “Not hit!” every time. You’d just end up unloading on their face mask at point blank range and then getting ejected from the campaign anyway.

Re: black knights. I’m not sure there were a heck of lot of those around back in the day anyway.

Don’t forget the grotesque usage of frames, which these days is like being an AIG exec. Sure it works for you, but there’s an angry mob around the corner.

The US government should impose a 90% tax on all use of HTML frames.

BTW, “See” phrases in definitions point to alternate definitions of the word being defined not to locations where you can see examples of the word in action. So, point 4 in the definition is actually kinda prophetic. Dictionary FAIL.

1998 called. They want their table layout back.

Ooooo… Dorothy The Dinosaur on the 13th. I am so there.

April 6, 2009: HTML 2.0 Launch Party LIMITED AVAILABILITY

Ouch. We’ll have to check with the judges on whether the use of the <blink> tag is a violation of the websuck.org SBC. There’s funny and then there’s funny.

I don’t see the problem.

My eyes! My eyes! They burn!